Thursday, August 30, 2012

Wednesday Night: Composition and Rhetoric II

Yet another class I was dreading. Back to campus #2 for Composition and Rhetoric II, or English class as I like to call it. Saying that I take Composition and Rhetoric just sounds pompous to me.

The reason for my anxiety about this class is that, I never seem to write a good paper. Yeah, I'm here spilling my guts and all, but I don't ever seem to give the teacher what they want. This started my senior year of high school and spilled into comp and rhetoric I in that failed semester of college I tried. Luckily I passed that class with a C somehow and it stayed on my record. I wish the other classes I took would have been dropped, but that's another story. The other part of this is that I NEVER seem to understand what is going on in anything I read. I could read all of, say, Hamlet, and I'll totally miss the point. Oh boy, English class!

So, I get to class a few minutes early, and wow, the teacher is ALREADY here! I walk in and some idiot is sitting in MY spot. Luckily for him the same spot on the other side of the room is open. The teacher hands me a syllabus and I take a seat. I think I'm older than the teacher, and he looks like he could be Tom Cruises little brother. What is it with my teachers looking like people? The class fills up...

We have a couple, yes an actual couple sitting in the back row, sharing a Macbook and a text book. They're as pretentious as they already sound, drinking their coffee from a coffee shop nobody has probably heard of. The guy who is probably 6'2" and 130lbs and has his shirt buttoned about halfway up with no undershirt. Yeah dude, gotta show off those pecs. His girlfriend/wife/whatever is not half bad looking, but can't seem to keep her mouth shut. There's a younger guy with a ponytail in front of me. Looks like the kind of guy who will be volunteering at the renaissance festival in about a month or so. Hey, whatever floats his boat, right?

There's something weird going on in this class though. There are five rows of tables split down the middle, and on each set of tables, there are two people. There are two sets where the two people don't seem to know each other, or the professor, and one is MY row. I guess since this guy has return students, he must be pretty good.

So, the teacher starts with the class intro. He remain seated and proceeds to tell us his name, his AGE (he's only like two years older than me) and how he's married, has two stepsons and the world's greatest dog. I'm going to call BS on that one because well, he's never met MY dog who just happens to be the world's greatest. He then goes on to tell us how he just finished his man cave and all about the surround sound system he has and the couch, and mini-fridge and how awesome it all is. Why do I need to know this for you to teach me this class?

He also fills us in on his educational background. He has a masters in English education, and got his bachelors in Film, Radio and Television production. I can't help but immediately label him as a complete tool bag. Then he says "I guess I can shut the door now."

He gets up and walks over to the door... and I can't help but notice, he's disabled. Great, I feel wonderful now.

He sits on his desk and says "If you didn't notice, I have quite a limp. That's because I have Spina Bifida." Great, now I feel like a tool bag.

He starts talking about the course itself and it sounds like he's pretty reasonable. As long as we try, participate, turn things in and ask questions if we need help, he's reasonable. If you don't try, he's not going to feel sorry for you. I get that. I wouldn't expect anything else from a college level English class. Anxiety is slowly starting to fade.

Once we get into talking about the type of things we're going to be reading, he manages to equate literature to movies. BINGO! Something I KNOW. He mentioned Vincent Price for a second and the girl sitting at my table says "Oh! He's my favorite actor!"

After she exclaims this, he asks her what her favorite movie of his was. "Um, you know that one where the guy has a scar on his face and it makes him look like he's smiling all the time, but he's really not?" Wow, yeah, you know your Vincent Price, chick.

As we move on we continue to discuss literature and he says something that makes me almost hit my head on my desk. I forget exactly what we were talking about but he says "Well, in this class, for all intensive purposes..."  Seriously? You're here to teach me English? *headdesk

We then read a short story that was a bit odd, but he walked us through how he wants us to look at things we read. This was the FIRST time I had ever managed to "get" something that was an assigned reading. I think this class will be alright.

We were out an hour early, at about 9pm. He said that would be the norm because he doesn't want to keep us until 10. WORKS FOR ME! Tomorrow is my "fun" class with Music Appreciation at campus #3. Hope this goes as well as the rest of the week has.

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